Karma

Last week, the mouse was back. This time, though, I had a trap, so the little guy couldn't make too many runs through the terrified minions or wreak too much havoc. But his presence alone in the classroom made me wary. I had moved the chocolates off the floor... and put them high on the shelf in a cabinet in my classroom. I thought I solved the problem, but decided to check anyways.

Sure enough, as soon as I got my kids settled and doing their classwork, I opened my cabinet. There were my Hershey's, thoroughly gnawed, little shreds of silver foil spread among the rather disturbing amount of mouse poo. "EW!" a girl nearby shreiked. "They left their DOODIES!" The class erupted again. "That's NASTY! Triflin!" and so on. Thankfully, the bell rang and 1st period left.

When second period came in, the rumor about the mouse poop had already spread like wildfire. I decided to turn this into a "teachable moment" (That's teacher lingo for whenever things are not going the way you want and you just give in and let the conversation derail.) Our class had just finished learning past tense verbs, so I decided to tell them all about the mouse and eating my hidden chocolate in the past tense. The kids were really invested in the story, and I was proud, because they were actually following it! For the grand finale, I whip open the cabinet and say "los ratones comieron los chocolates en mi armario!" (The mice even ate the chocolate in my cabinet!) And the whole class gets grossed out and laughs and everyone has a great time.

Now, let me preface 3rd period by saying these guys are a handful. This is the suspension/expulsion gang, and the class that has stolen from me and gives me the most disciplinary trouble. Well, they came in and I decided to tell the story again. At first, they were invested... but as the story went on, I saw a few of them gulp uncomfortably and slide down in their seats. One kid started hyperventilating and other kids were trying hard to control their laughter... I paused my story, concerned. "What's going on here?" I asked. "What's so funny? Something I need to know?" I gave them a stern face and most responded quickly "no, no Ms. Hornstein... go on." So I finished my story with a melodramatic flourish and whipped open the cabinet to reveal the mess.

The mayhem that ensued was beyond anything I have ever seen. Kids suddenly dropped to the floor, one was definitely crying, and everyone was screaming. Above the din rose one kid's voice, "I told y'all! I told y'all you shouldn't a taken it!"

"What happened!?" I demanded.

"Shaq's sick today, and now we know why! He ATE THE POO!" Screamed a kid.
"Did you eat any? Did you?" They all asked each other. Yes... my kids had been stealing my chocolate during lecture and passing it around for the last few days and for sure had eaten from a poopie stash. The ones who knew they did were devastated... "I'm going to think about this all night!" One boy moaned.

I never felt more smug all year. "Well," I said. "This is what some people call Karma. You all stole my candy that I bring in as prizes, and well... you got yours. Enjoy!"

And that is why I Teach For America!