Wearing out

Man, I am tired.
So, so tired.
It’s been a very long, and very trying week.

A few life updates: My future right now with Teach For America is somewhat in limbo. As I mentioned before, I did not pass one of my required Praxis tests to be certified as a Spanish teacher in the state of Maryland. Because I took the test in June, there was no other option to retake the test in time for the start of the school year, and no test site locations near Philadelphia. Now, because of these scores, I lost my placement at a middle school and at this point am just hoping I can still teach Spanish. The TFA office is trying to put me in a DC Charter school, where the Praxis scores won’t matter, at least at first. If they can’t find a placement for me in Spanish, they will try to put me in History or English, two subjects with “easy” Praxis tests I would take later. The problem is, now I am so invested in my Spanish curriculum that if I got a different placement, I feel like this whole marrow-draining summer would be for naught. All I can do is wait, and keep up my hard work here.

I’ve never known exhaustion like this week. My body is literally breaking down, and I’m not alone: all 700 of us are completely frazzled. The issues were compounded yesterday with shocking news: one of our summer school students was murdered. The corps members that were his teachers were quite shaken. At lunch, we’ll be working with a counselor to learn some concrete techniques to deal with incidents like these that we may encounter in the fall. The most bizarre thing to me is that the whole thing seems very low-key for the people here. Is it possible that in this setting you become numb to the death of a classmate?

There were a few nice points to the week. Thankfully, we signed a lease this week for a home in the Eastern Market area. It’s lovely, and we’re so excited to move. So that’s one less thing on our shoulders. As soon as I can I will post pictures of the interior…we have granite countertops!

And the other most important thing to report is the success of my classroom. Despite all the clutter in my life right now, this remains the one part of my day that is golden. Somehow, in a mere 2 weeks, I have developed a wonderful rapport with my students. They absolutely LOVE my corny teaching style and my professors here tell me that my energy and enthusiasm in the classroom is unmatched. It has been delightful watching my kids grow, and their grades blossom, as they invest in the idea of high scores and speaking Spanish daily. In fact, my classroom is so smooth that I feel like I am unprepared for the fall. In observing the behavior struggles of other classrooms, I can’t decide if we’re actually doing something right in my class or if we are just very lucky to have a great batch of kids. Yesterday, I taught hair and eye color using a ridiculous-looking paper doll on the board. “Yooooo, she’s a hot mess!” They cheered. But their assessment data at day’s end tells me that they not only enjoyed my cheesy doll, but they paid attention to the lesson.

At the end of the day, that’s why we’re all here and I use those small moments to get me through each struggle. Only 5 more days in the classroom left!

Peace and love.