FREEDOM

The last post I wrote, I think my overwhelming exhaustion came through with every typed word. This last week, I hit rock bottom. After giving my kids their final exams, and reviewing the results, I couldn't have been at a lower low. The one thing that gets everyone through the excruciating work of institute is the joy in seeing your students succeed. When our class average on the final came in at a 76%, and I knew that some kids had failed the course, it was like swallowing a rock. To call home parents and tell them that their kids would be repeating grades- to tell students you've been encouraging all summer that their final test was a D... how can you balance the ups and downs of the experience? How do you make sure that it's not YOU who pushes some struggling student over the edge of dropping out of high school? How do you find a way to tell a student riddled by text anxiety that they can do it? How do you maintain faith and trust, so fragile that you've built with your kids? It's overwhelming pressure in this profession, knowing that someone's life and future rides on your shoulders. You may be even tempted to pass the failing students...but then you do them no justice either when they arrive the next year and get lost and give up by week three...

My class was not with out its successes. It had many of them! For as many students that failed, there were those that started out on the edge, getting 50's and 60's, who we pushed up to producing consistent B quality work on tests. There were those that had no confidence in their brilliance that we showed could and should expect A's in their life, not just "passing." But it's always "the one that gets away" that haunts you.

So yes, after the test I was in a foul mood. I couldn't wait to get out of school and start fresh with a new class. The second to last day, I gave the students the equivalent of a college course evaluation that my friend Liz had given her class to amazing results. "Give them lots of time," she advised me. "They are more thoughtful and thorough then you could imagine."

She was right. She was beyond right. These reviews changed my life. They changed the whole way I thought about my work this summer. And more than anything, I knew that I didn't lose one single kid. Not one. Even the ones that failed weren't walking away hopeless. I have included a few quotes from these reviews that I will keep with me forever, wherever the next two years take me I will know in 20 days that I was able to touch my students. It thrills me to think about what opportunities await me in a year. Here are just a few samples:


"I really enjoyed you as my teacher...you kept a very high energy in the class so every day was a awesome day."

"She made me confident in myself. Made me beleive I can do anything if I put my mind to it."

"She has helped me alot by going through the objective I don't get and she gives me the energy to work hard and do well by leaving little comments on my exit slip."

" I love Senorita Hornstein. Just because of Srta. Hornstein now next year I will be prepared for Spanish 2. Thank you so much!"

"I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! I LOVE SENORITA HORNSTEIN :-) She is funny... needs to learn some new raps."

And my favorite, from the student I failed:
I love it. I never worked so hard. Thank you all...Ms. Hornstein encourage me to stay strong, go to school and do what I have to do so I can graduate. Thank you for all the hard work and push so I can go to college because I've had so many haters.


I took a photo diary of my last day at South Philly. Please enjoy a trip through my day here... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2307403&id=5515657&l=5857b6ae64