So, even though it says in the Bible you're not supposed to talk about fasting when you're fasting, or complain when you give up stuff and make a big scene of it, I'm breaking that rule for the sake of this post because 1) I think it's got some entertainment value, and 2) I'm looking for some suggestions (the more hilarious, the better.)
Most Lenten seasons past, I've given up all sweets and any form of chocolate, but this Lent I'm adding something else: I've given up cursing. 40 days and 40 nights with no f-bombs, sh-words, d-dash dash dash... basically, anything that I would yell at my students for is off limits for me.
The thing about cursing is that I can turn it off. I do at school every day- but when I get home, I'm a regular foul-mouthed sailor! I'm not particularly proud of it. I like to think of myself as a classy gal. If anything, the last five days have made me realize how frequently I want to call someone something that starts with "mother", or how regularly I yell an expletive over a minor incident (forgetting my cell phone upstairs, dropping a can of peanut butter, etc).
The real challenge here though, is how to replace those words with something that fits in the context without sounding TOTALLY ridiculous. I've been stumbling all over my sentences trying to make it work! The best thing I've come up with so far is saying "wow," to replace "damn." Hot guy walks by: wooooowww. Kid scores a 3% on a test? Wooooow. Stub my toe? Wooowwww!!!
But otherwise, I'm really laboring. "shoot" is working out ok...most of the time. Today I said "shoot the ...shoot" and it failed. Meredith has suggested replacing "b*tch" with "super nice person" every time I'm tempted to use it. The F word has become..."fooie" or "fangul" (which is actually just Italian for F yourself in the A. Thanks for putting that one in my vernacular, mom.)
So my question to you, my readership, is to help me! What are your favorite curse/cuss/swear word replacements? Any family favorites or childhood censorships? I look forward to your suggestions!
Till next week... Peace and Love.
Been down that road a few times myself...but unfortunately, you can take the sailor out of the Navy, but not the Navy out of the sailor.
ReplyDeleteThat said, there are some pretty funny ones mentioned here: http://prince.org/msg/100/277823 (My favorite is using "expletive"--as in, "go expletive yourself.")